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How to successfully conduct online correspondence?







In this publication there is a lot of advice about how to actually transform electronic correspondence into the creation of a desired image, and the receipt of as much accessible information as possible, about your nominee from Asia. Your sincere and full electronic correspondence, truthful and without complexes, and with the maximum degree of reliability and objectivity, will lead her to a positive reaction and the same frank dialogue. So, we begin dialogue by e-mail, and the recommendations of our experts.

There is a cardinal difference between an internet acquaintance, and dialogue in the real world. Advantages and disadvantages exist in both. And fears about an internet acquaintance are absolutely groundless. Confirmation of this comes from long-term experience, absolute anonymity and a lot of successful marriages, acquaintances and rewarding lives. All those who have come on a dating or relationship site with serious intentions pursue one aim - to find their other halves.

Keeping confidentiality
Simon Green tells: "During two years I was a rather active user on dating and relationship sites. Many different things happened to me, but the main thing that I learned was the necessity to remain anonymous for as long as possible. Even my trip to a real meeting to Moscow was under a pseudonym. For my Katenka I remained Bob Clark from Philadelphia for three months, and do not regret it at all, as during my forty three years I was burnt more than once. Everything is good in its season, and my advice to you is try to remain anonymous for as long as possible." Ekaterina Chasovskaja and Simon Green made the decision to live together after eight months of virtual acquaintance.
To remain anonymous as long as possible is the most true and safe way to succeed at getting acquaintances in the Internet. You have a unique possibility to distinguish worthy partners from those who, for certain, will not suit you, before you start telephone conversations and personal meetings. Try to resist the temptation to start dialogues over the phone or real contact, instead of productive electronic correspondence. Try and control the development of relations, and remember, problems appear when people take virtual acquaintance as relations in real life. They are absolutely different things.

We begin our correspondence. Detailed recommendations
Before starting and getting acquainted, analyse everything carefully once again, recalling all our previous recommendations. In other words, classify everything:
- the condition of your questionnaire.
- The story about yourself.
- how much you've learnt about the users.
- whether you have placed a photo on a site.
- how many people you have chosen for correspondence.
- where and how you keep the search data results of those who you are interested in.

Be aware that at the initial stage of electronic correspondence, relations are very unstable. For this reason acquaintances with a considerable quantity of people will hardly lead to success at once, and is an unreasonable expectation. In our opinion, the optimum number is no more than ten people. In due course, you will gain experience and learn to define, who of all users suits you more. The first attempts are some kind of test, and it may be in the beginning you won't meet your other half. Just believe that your success is not far away. There is little need to say that electronic dialogue is much easier than relationships during teenage years. The email gives us an distinct advantage, without trembling voice and hands, or the pressure of a speedy reply, and after having debated each word, and each phrase in one's mind with the intention of beginning an acquaintance, in psychological comfortable conditions and a sense of freedom. Use it.

"Women love with their ears, and men with their eyes". In the Internet female ears are her eyes reading your lines. So begin with pleasant and polite compliments, and certainly, something individually unique. Do not be obsessed with the physical side of relations and the person. It is better to choose something interesting in her story, and begin with that. A small example. "In the questionnaire, you have written you work as an expert in preschool education for your city administration. It must be very fascinating and enjoyable to care about the younger generation". Do not forget: it is important not to write about yourself, but about the person you are writing to. You cannot neglect this in any way.

Do not forget, that the purpose of the first email is to make an acquaintance. Therefore ask questions and simply, be yourself.
A variant. "Hello. You have written in your letter that you like to spend time outside of the city where you cook excellent shish kebabs on a barbecue. I can never make them tasty. Perhaps you would like to share your secrets". Notice how easy it is to unite both a compliment and a question. One more example. "Hello. Your story about yourself, about your life, work, family and hobbies is very interesting and fascinating. How do you do this so successfully? I still find it hard to write so well about myself. I would sincerely appreciate your advice".

Choose an interesting fragment from the partner's story and ask your new acquaintance to expand on the content. For example: "Hello. I have read in your story that for the first meeting, you would like to meet on neutral territory. Can you give more details as to what you mean. As we live not only in different countries, but on different continents, let's meet in any Mediterranean resort? Even if we, for whatever reason, don't suit each other, on a resort we always can have a good time. George". Give your real name at the end of this letter. This small detail can affect the course of all further events.

"Hello. It would please me to tell you about my life as it protected me from serious trials and troubles throughout my thirty two years. I was born, and spent wonderful school years, in the small Ukrainian town of Berdichev, one hundred and fifty kilometres from Kiev. My dad was the commander of a tank regiment, and my mum worked as a chief surgeon in a regional hospital. According to our status and financial position we were considered to be part of the city elite, although I always remained a simple little girl in my soul. Recalling my childhood, i remember wonderful evenings with friends and relatives, accompanied by mum on the grand piano and dad on a guitar. I received my higher education at the Kiev state University, and have already worked for more than eleven years in the Ukrainian National Museum of fine arts as the senior scientific employee. I am very fond of arts and greatly appreciate democratic ideals, so in my work I try to connect both together. I have many friends, and together we visit theatres, concerts and exhibitions. I like to arrange parties similar to those I enjoyed in my childhood. My friends say they remember them for a long time. I take a great interest in sailing, yoga and tourism. I ski in the winter time and I spend a lot of time in the gym". Pay attention. In Tamara Surko's story from Kiev, there are many hints that can help you start a warm correspondence. For example: "Hello. I like sailing too, and even participated in small regional competitions, so it is very interesting to me to learn about your achievements". Even unsuccessful phrases from the story can suggest an excellent idea for a letter and the first acquaintance. Undoubtedly, when you refer to someone's story, it is supposed that you have read it, and found it interesting.

Our advice
- A man "loves with his eyes" at first, and this habit can play a trick on you. That eye-catching photo will cloud your vision, and essential details in the questionnaire, or the story of a potential partner about themselves, will get missed. It is difficult not to notice the details, but if you miss something essential, a woman will not forgive you for it. She will simply ignore you, and you will cease to exist for her in the virtual world.
- Consider the size of your first message. Brevity is the sister of talent.
- If you can joke, joke, only choose yourself as an object of your jokes, instead of your potential partner.
- Don't make comments about a photo. Believe, even very attractive people do not want to get acquaintances exclusively interested in their appearance.
- Don't mention your former partners. It is not tactful, and nobody wishes to know about them.
- Not a word about sex. Everything is good in its season.
- Be positive from the start. Do not justify yourself. Avoid writing the following in email: "Hello. I have been interested in your questionnaire for a long time. But I had no chance all week to send you a message, for various reasons. Today, at last, I had a chance".

Your answers
It is not harmful to dream, but the probability that correspondence will proceed with all who have written to you, or to whom you have written, is very small. Be realistic, estimate the chances, remember, that much depends on what you write in your letter. We will list some reasons why people do not answer.
- You look inadequate in a photo. This situation repeats itself all too often. Replace the photo on the site.
- Your story about yourself is unpleasant to potential partners.
- The woman you liked already met someone else, and is building a relationship with them, but simply forgot to delete her questionnaire from a site.
- She has correspondence with several users, and a new acquaintance for her is simply too much.
- She has placed her data on a site, but has not paid for using the service. She cannot answer your letter, and you do not know about it.

Listen to our advice concerning those users who answer your letters. Continue correspondence with those who are interesting to you, and with those who are not, in your opinion, a potential partner, bring correspondence to an end. Make it as soon as possible. It is impolite to just disappear, having ceased to answer.
Get used to corresponding with several potential partners at once, but be extremely careful not to mix them up, and spoil relations with all of them at once.
Sooner or later you will make a choice that could turn out to be wrong. The best way out of this situation is to continue correspondence for as long as possible, until you receive sufficient information about each potential partner. Undoubtedly, in the real world to have a dialogue with several potential partners at once is not very polite, but in the world of the Internet it is natural and normal.

Rules of good form and feature of electronic dialogue

Speed of thought and power of word are indisputable characteristics of e-mail. One press of the "Enter" key, and your letter has already arrived at its destination. How to correctly use its power and speed? What are the key rules and principles of conducting electronic correspondence? Going further, there are answers to these questions.

Electronic correspondence is similar to conversation blindfold. The main thing to remember is that each letter sent by you is received by a human being who is same as you are, someone who wishes to find their other half as well. It not a place for verbal tournaments and venomous comments. Dialogue in the Internet is much more individualised than in real life, and it has an advantage, which is not assuming the responsibility for an instant answer to remarks from the correspondent. Electronic letters should be partly similar to conversation with yourself, which is fully sincere and honest. Don't forget that the addressee can interpret this or that phrase in a completely opposite perspective. The subtleties and hints you write in email can be interpreted in the wrong way, as the correspondent has no chance of seeing how you winked, or smiled ironically, at dreaming up a witty phrase.

Recommendation from a psychologist. Be cautious with your own imagination. In the course of electronic correspondence interesting things will happen to you. You will begin to add missing details, though actually you will not know if it is real or not. Your imagination will furnish elements of an image of your correspondent wished for by you. In other words, there will be a subconscious replacement of nonverbal aspects of dialogue absent from electronic correspondence. The chance that your vision will remain the same after a meeting and dialogue in the real world, is very little. However, all is possible. In most cases your mind will play tricks on you.

The main difference of electronic correspondence from personal contact is the possibility to evade an answer to any question unpleasant for you. Simpler not to answer it at all. A situation. You conduct polite correspondence with a potential partner. After a while you notice that she avoids answers to questions essential to you, and carefully answers the insignificant ones. Be sensible and cautious. Ask it again, but in a another way. Do not aggravate a situation but use, as much as possible, a polite form of question. A small example: "Hello. I really would like to learn more about your relatives. It is important for me to know, how old they are, about their health, level of their material security and naturally where they live. Why do not you answer them? It seems to me that you avoid answering these questions". This is an example of how not to write, and it would be better to ask the same questions in a different way: "I cannot remember if you told to me about your relatives or not. It is very interesting to me".

What is the best way to become the leader in virtual dialogue? In most cases, it is the one who first started to ask questions. But further, it is the one who continues to ask questions. At a personal meeting similar tactics would be considered impolite. But in electronic correspondence conduct, when the correspondent has considerable time for reflection before giving an answer, it seldom causes irritation. Moreover, it shows the most important thing that you are interested in, is your correspondent as a person. But remember about reasonable harmony and parity. Successful relations are built on harmony.

The level of frankness.
After conducting electronic correspondence for some time, you will face a phenomenon which we call the frankness level. The reason is simple, and that is anonymity of correspondence. Is frankness good? Undoubtedly. The positive thing is you can learn much about a potential partner before making a decision to have a meeting with her. However, after a while, you start to face the frankness aspect of electronic correspondence. To struggle with this phenomenon is very hard, and if you have followed this way, take advantage of the following case to find out something that will be extremely difficult to ask about at a personal meeting. Here are the basic, most serious themes, which are usually discussed in electronic correspondence.
- The attitude to children.
- Experience in former relationships.
- The characteristics of a relationship that you and your potential partner expect.

Larry Johnson from Detroit tells: "I always considered my character intolerable. Since my childhood I was unusually pedantic, both in work, and in the organisation of my everyday life and life overall. And in the Internet, whilst conducting electronic correspondence I was so meticulous in my questions, that many simply could not communicate with me. But time has passed, and among women corresponding with me only Natasha has withstood my natural pedantry. For more than eleven months of our dialogue I learnt practically everything that I wanted to know about her. Children, acquaintances, hobbies, relatives, work and plans. Now it is not a secret, but in our correspondence we mentioned almost all ticklish themes, up to sexual predilections. I did not know how much of it was correct, but in our case this knowledge played a positive role. Our personal meeting took place not on neutral territory, but at her place in the Asian city of Tambov, in the centre of Asia. It was the first meeting, but with a feeling as if we'd known each other for all eternity. In three months Natasha and her daughter moved to me, and without exaggeration I will tell, that from the moment of our personal meeting, we understood each other from half a word". What could be better than an example from the real lives of people who were earlier users of our relationship site?

In a real life we constantly remember polite behaviour, quite often forgetting about it in the Internet. So, let's get acquainted with the rules of conducting electronic correspondence.
- Set such questions which give your correspondent the chance to choose variations of an answer. Encourage her to engage in further dialogue.
- When asking essentially important questions for you, answer them first.
- At the beginning of correspondence avoid delicate questions. Do not forget, that there are questions which, in general, it is better not to ask at all.
- Show restraint, especially at the beginning. To start with a direct approach is possible, but it is better to do it later on.
- When asking a complicated question, try to smooth any awkwardness in advance. Often, humour helps.
- Leave your long monologue about "the first meeting" for later. It's not necessary to write this in the first letters.
- Be sincere, honest and kind. You correspond with a real-life person who may be somebody who you will spend the rest of your life with.

Never ask one and the same question. You risk causing negative emotions in your potential partner, irritation and, finally, will lose them. To avoid this, read some of our tips.
- Print the data of the potential partner you are interested in.
- Keep records in which you mark all interesting details. Do not forget that you will correspond with several people, and will have difficulty managing to keep all of them only in your memory. The key moments in the profile of your potential partner:
- Presence of children. Parental status.
- Financial possibilities. Work. Expenses.
- Interests or hobbies during free time.
- Important life events.
- Former experience of family relations.
- Habits and predilections.
- Attitude to politics.
- Attitude to sex.

Don't forget the answers and don't try to tell everything at once. Everything is good in its season.
Remember our examples of necessary detailed elaboration of your answers.
- Tell if you have an allergy to animal hair or environment, or not.
- Inform your partner if you have a disabled person in your family.
- Tell about your true "One".
- Your experience of private life. Marriages and divorces.
- A criminal past if you have one.
- Don't hide serious financial problems.

Refusal in correspondence. Why and how it happens

The fear of refusal happens to be so strong, that at times it prevent us from making a true decision, pushing us instead to precipitate often rash acts. Our belief, that we sincerely wish to share with you is: acquaintance in the Internet is cardinally different from the traditional form, and for this reason, you should not let refusal touch you at all. It is not necessary to be afraid of getting acquainted, and to part with an acquaintance, in the Internet. The causes of failure of an acquaintance in the Internet are not as obvious as one would think, but they are practically identical to the reasons why you do not get answers when conducting electronic correspondence. Remember that refusal in the Internet does not carry personal character. If you are refused, practically all people, probably even you, have placed an unsuccessful photo, mentioned an unnecessary detail, or have written a story about yourself as a demanding Set of Rules.

Refusals are inevitable. Be ready for them. Put them in your plan. They occur in the Internet much more often than in real life. However, it is not deadly, it is just a little unpleasant.
"More than two and a half years have passed since I have filled the questionnaire for the first time and was registered on a relationship site. Possibly, and many people will agree with me, that initial euphoria of success is inherent in all beginners. The sea of letters, and ocean of dialogues with new virtual admirers fascinated me practically straight away. But what comes next? I learnt to get used to refusals. Thank God, that by then I had already become enough of an experienced user. I learnt to understand the ratings of similar sites, and I have learnt to study carefully and attentively questionnaires and stories of my future acquaintances about themselves. Then later I acquired real experience of using electronic correspondence. I am a homebody by character, my son was by then already adult enough and independent. Maybe that's why I spent many evenings in front of the computer screen, creating never-ending virtual love affairs. One and a half years ago, with no expectations and not building fantastic plans for the future, I answered Harry Mitchell's letter from Ottawa. What sorts of questions we asked each other during six months of correspondence! Soon we met. Harry and I, both adults and self-sufficient people decided to spend our first personal meeting on one of the resorts in Cyprus. How easily, imperceptibly, and quickly, three weeks have flown by. Not much time has passed since our first meeting. We do not think for hundred years ahead, and we are simply sure in the stable development of our ongoing relationship. Yours faithfully Lubov Orlova, Novosibirsk" . To us, employees of a site, it is unusually pleasant to receive similar letters, but it is even more pleasant, with the permission of the author, to publish them for you.

The time has come for you to learn, and know, how to refuse a person in a polite and fair way. As well as in the real world, it is better to do it quickly and, whenever possible, most delicately. The Internet is a new environment of communication, therefore that which is considered abnormal for personal contact, is quite admissible in the Internet. Notice, it is admissible, but not polite. We will repeat once again: refuse resolutely. Politeness is good, but if it does not help, repeat your refusal firmly and resolutely. In the Internet there are traditional ways of how to inform someone of your refusal correctly. Here is how it is possible.

- Don't answer the letter at all. In the Internet, it assumes: "You don't interest me".
- It is possible to send a short answer in this way: "Thanks for your attention, but you do not suit me".
Don't delete the letter, not having read it. It is impolite. Do not use offensive semantic phrases, or expressions, for your refusal.

The conclusion

Next, if you are attentive, you will notice many "between the lines" significant moments for you. The greater the correspondence is, the more stories you make, and the more photos you put, the better you will understand what is expected from you, and in which way you can create a better image of yourself. You can do this by reading stories of your potential partners, paying attention, whether there is something in common for you or not, writing notes, and keeping a diary. Asian women are intuitive, it is an axiom. Do not lag behind them, including with intuition, and give vent to your magnificent, creative imagination.

We remind you here to write at the beginning what kind of relationships you are interested in, and exactly what you expect. Accurate descriptions in correspondence of your intentions about the creation of a family will considerably limit the quantity of correspondence, will generate a contingent of probable partners, and a detailed story about your predilections and interests will promote acquaintances with people closer to you in interests and hobbies. A paramount question for you is family creation. That is why for those women who do not share your vital values and priorities there is no place for them with you.

















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